


내 마음

by dixonbelcourts



Category: Okja (2017)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Learning languages, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 11:51:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13434138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dixonbelcourts/pseuds/dixonbelcourts
Summary: Mija smiles, a real one like K had so rarely seen, and calls Okja downstairs. K hears Jay trying to tell Mija to get Okja off a few moments from then, and smiles. It’s easy for him like this.a domestic-ish jay/k au i got commissioned to do with them living in the suburbs and adopting mija, with k Pining while helping jay learn korean so he can actually talk to his daughter properly





	내 마음

**Author's Note:**

> im ngl to u. this is google translate korean for a lot of it. i rly, RLY tried to get it from actual articles and get it all proper but when it came to more distinct phrases like i use once or twice that became rly difficult/impossible to do, and ur all gonna use google translate to decode what this means anyway so whatever

Jay’s pacing. For once, it irritates K. It’d been an odd habit of the man’s for as long as he’d known him. For all his devotion to the A.L.F and it’s creed, and all the preached belief he had in his own crew, he’d never shown the confidence to match it. Every time there was a mission neither of them were on themselves he got to sit there, walking back and forth until K was sure there had to be marks in the floor. He’d never understood it, either. Jay always had a cool head when in the action himself. While often charming in it’s own right, it wasn’t for then.  
“Come here.” K says, arm reached out towards the man.  
Conflict flashes across Jay’s face when he sees it, even though he takes it just a moment later. K pulls him down onto the couch before he can argue. He thought that letting Jay decorate the house himself would turn it into a spot of some solace for the man, and that was laughable now. It wasn’t as if K particularly _liked_ the decor. The reds and blues of it all seemed too fake, all seeming too heavy-handed for their little suburbia dream of a hideout.  
K reaches out towards the coffee table drawer to grab the index cards, smacking Jay’s hand away and tossing him a look when he tries to stop him. It only displeases Jay and amuses K. Everyone in the A.LF had always been so stubborn, for as long as K had known them, and he was still surprised it hadn’t wound up being their downfall.  
He splits one half of the cards to Jay and keeps the other to himself, only half interested in what the lesson would hold. Adopting Mija made sense, and thus by extension, so had Jay learning korean. Even with having said so little about any future hopes unrelated to the A.L.F, he’d been so obviously excited to be a father, and who was K to leave himself the only one able to communicate with her? The korean had been K’s own idea, and only after Jay had been frustrated with the concept of Mija stuck into learning English. As frustrating as teaching them both the other’s respective language had become, Jay’d always seemed so happy when he got the words right, and that was enough for K.  
“You were supposed to teach me before Mija moved in.” Jay says.  
“That was when we weren’t supposed to be doing another heist.”  
“You say that as if you’re complaining.”  
The _Jay-ness_ of the comment just makes K sigh. He doesn’t understand how Jay does it sometimes. How could he take on starting to raise a child, et up a new home, earn a new language, and still lead the A.L.F with ease? K supposes that’s why he’s the leader.  
Shoulder smacks against shoulder as he moves closer to the other man. K pushes his own dark hair out of his eyes, and then all it takes is to tap on the index card in Jay’s hand before he relents.  
Jay reads out the index cards and slurs out an array of words in an attempt at an accent, all wrong. A hand flies up over K’s mouth to hide his own smile. He swirls his finger in a circle to urge Jay to continue when he glares at him. Every time he’d tried to tell Jay proper grammar he’d forget it, and it’d quickly become a wall in their efforts.  
“하세요,” K says, and nudges up Jay’s jaw with his thumb after. “You try.”  
Jay’s face twists into displeasure.  
Still, he hisses out a few syllables incorrectly, and K smiles again.

All the lucky in the world grants Jay solace then. A knock hits the window behind them and both of them are used to it enough that neither jump, only sigh as Red tumbles through and onto the ground. A pig’s squeal is what prompts K to actually _help_ instead of letting the idiots deal with it themselves.   
It’s tinier than he’d expected, a panicked ball of pink tucked under Blond’s arm when he takes it. Like all of their endeavors, they’d been unprepared for this, too. What was considered proper pig-care? Without any other option, K chooses to believe Jay had stocked up their garage full of pig-care supplies and pig-care supplies only. The thing stops screaming as he pets it’s side, but barely calms past that. He whispers little shushes to it as Jay talks to the rest of the team about how the job had gone, blocking out as much of their conversation as possible.   
“Jay - “ K says.   
It’s all interrupted by Silver talking of the atrocities of the slaughterhouse and Jay trying to check them for wounds, and K just sighs. Jay looks so shocked when K touches his shoulder, and only worse in that when he touches his jaw. “Where’s Mija?”   
Jay’s eyes widen but he doesn’t get the chance to answer, the quick and heavy sound of Mija stomping down the stairs interrupting them a moment later. She pays no attention to the rambling adults ahead of her. She stands there, at the end of the stairs, all dressed in the pyjamas Jay had bought for her and staring down at all of them.   
“Okja?” she calls out.   
K can only imagine what the intricacies of a pig’s memory and attachment entails that causes Okja to jump from his arms and run towards Mija. But it makes a smile crack across Mija’s face as well as Jay’s, and it makes the entire hassle of getting Okja to the suburbs seem worth it. All of it. The entire team watches when Jay walks over to the two of them, telling her some normal spiel about the A.L.F always getting things done. Blond rolls his eyes at it, nudging Silver before walking over himself. “Leave her be with the preaching for now.” He argues, and picks up the pig before Jay can even argue. To K’s own surprise it makes Mija smile, and Jay follows suit when he sees so. 

For some reason, K hadn’t expected Jay to be so eager to learn. Red had only laughed at him when he’d said so before leaving. _‘That’s on you for expecting Jay to half-ass anything.’_ She’d told him, and he still couldn’t argue. Jay leans back on K as he looks through index cards. K doesn’t stop him - running his hands through Jay’s hair had become an odd sort help when it came to focusing.   
“제올 다시 말질 나.” Jay says, and stares up at the man above him. “’Please say that one more time.’”   
“쏴 죽여 버릴 거야.” K says.   
“What?”   
“Nothing.”   
Jay goes to argue, and K shakes his head. His watch beeps right when he needs and just as Mija comes into the room. The girl’s punctuality had never seized to amaze him. The look that plays across Jay’s face still amuses him, all confusion and temptation to resist. He wouldn’t, K knew - too much of a stickler for his own rules, and too excited for Mija to learn english to postpone one of her lessons. It’s what causes Jay’s blatant displeasure when K tells him to give him a moment, a kiss to his hand and one to Mija’s head as he walked past. He keeps his hand on Mija’s while talking.   
“당신이 돼지를 그의 무릎에 앉게한다면, 우리는 아이스크림을 먹을거야.”   
Mija smiles, a real one like K had so rarely seen, and calls Okja downstairs. K hears Jay trying to tell Mija to get Okja off a few moments from then, and smiles. It’s easy for him like this. 

“Are you alright?” Jay asks afterwards.   
K doesn’t hear him. He’s already curled into the couch, knees to his chest in a way Jay can’t comprehend ever being comfortable. All the years of running from police and getting pummeled only cause K to jump at Jay’s touch. It’d been weeks of planning and teaching. He was _done._ Even when he hears Jay he ignores him, letting the man’s hand run over his face as some attempt of comfort.   
“You need rest.” Jay whispers.   
K laughs, soft and tired.   
“You’ve always been such a good detective.”   
Jay rolls his eyes, and it’s such an uncharacteristic response that K would be upset he’d missed it by shutting his eyes if he knew. He doesn’t let Jay pick him up when he tries to. He goes ragdoll in his attempt to fall into the couch, to simply not move anymore.   
“Come on.”   
When K hears that, he groans. Jay says it with such sincerity that he just has to get up, doesn’t he? In one move he pushes himself off the couch, only to prompt himself up when standing by leaning on Jay himself.   
“Gonna carry me up?” he asks.   
Jay sighs and pushes him towards the stairs. 

“Mija - “ Jay chokes out, snatching the spoon from her hand.   
Red’s arms splay out defensively as she watches it. Anything she says is muffled by the food in her mouth. Mija smiles at it, though glares at Jay when he does the same to Red. The clatter of the spoon in the sink is what tips Red off enough, as if there were some form of indication Jay would change his mind.   
“She can’t have ice cream for breakfast,” he says, all the seriousness one could put in such a sentence. Mija sits back in her chair and crosses her arms, Red waving her arm towards her for agreement. The spoon is grabbed from the sink and pointed towards Jay, and from Red, that’s a challenge. Okja crawls around their feet looking for crumbs of food or attention, Mija’s attention devoted to her more than the others.   
“What else is she going to eat in the morning?” she argues.   
Before Jay can answer the spoon taps against the side of his face, and he sighs. With as much of himself together as he can manage, Jay plucks the spoon from Red’s hands and drops it back into the sink.   
“Eggs,” he starts. Red sighs. “Cereal, toast, granola. Anything even slightly resembling nutrition.”   
“She’s _twelve._ ”   
Jay’s face twists into confusion, as if waiting for further explanation. Yet K comes in a moment later and it all seems to fall into place for him. Any interaction between the two was bound to end up like that in his eyes, only worse so with Mija involved. In what seems like one swift motion for the man, K takes the spoon from the sink and shakes it off to hand to Mija along with a yogurt. A kiss to the head comes with it, and earns smiles between the two of them.   
“Don’t you have to meet up with Emily about now?” K asks, tapping the newspaper in hand on Red’s head.   
“Not ‘til eight, smartass.” Red goes to grab the newspaper from K’s hand as she speaks, only for K to pull it from her reach.   
“Third date, isn’t it?” K smiles over his mug. “Should be fun.”   
Neither of them notice how Jay had cut himself out of the conversation. Not until he pushes himself back in, taking K’s coffee from his hand and drinking it himself.   
“Don’t be so crude.” He says, pulling the mug away when K goes for it and nudging the piglet towards the other man with his foot instead. “She understands _some_ english - where’s the cards?” K nods him towards a kitchen drawer full of cards reading out things like toast and cereal and Jay takes in a breath before he even shows them to Mija, as if it was much more intimidating than it really was. He turns the cards up towards Mija and smiles at her while, turning into a full grin when Mija grabs some card that says granola from his hand. The yogurt is snatched away and granola put in it’s place, Jay nudging himself into sitting into his daughter’s chair with her afterward. Even with the distaste when Jay had scolded him, it’s said with such pride and sincerity that it makes K’s teeth rot. As much as he wants to make some dirty joke or snap about him being too serious, he realizes he agrees with what he said, and he hates it.   
“너 엉덩이에 통증이있어,” K tells him. “사랑해.”   
Jay’s eyebrows stitch together, and K can see him mentally run over every phrase K had ever taught him to decode the meaning. It only makes him smile.   
“The bird flies over - “   
“No, Christ.” K laughs. “Has anything I’ve taught you taken effect? Ever?”   
In the one moment where Jay’s distracted he takes his own coffee back and steps across the room, using Mija as a bridge between them. Red tells Jay how grim he is on K’s behalf while Jay hassles him for the meaning of the phrase, and K takes the moment to look at the puzzle Mija had been putting together. Okja is picked up and put in Mija’s lap as they talk about it, making every attempt to climb on top of the table she can. Mija had mentioned once wanting to try crosswords to practice. What he hadn’t expected was her being so good at them. All across the board it was put together, not a single answer he could find wrong other than one even he couldn’t begin to understand the reference of. He’d have to show Jay later. 

Jay doesn’t let it go, but he’d never made that a habit for himself. Most times when K had said something in Korean that he hadn’t understood he would do this, and that was the only reason he’d stopped using it as a teaching tactic. It was fun to deflect. More than once he’d just ignore Jay’s line of questioning and asked about the weather. That was the only way he got any amusement out of the situation. Even watching Jay stammer over what he’d learned had only made him nervous.   
Once, when the rest of them had been on a heist again and Jay insisted it was just _too_ nice not to go to the park, he thinks he’s dropped it. But it’s Jay, so of course that’s the most foolish thing he could’ve imagined happening.   
“Was it nice at least?”   
It’s not as stressed as the other times he’s asked. For once, K thinks, Jay has genuinely relaxed. The tilt of the question is light and joking, he doesn’t stop running his hands through K’s hair or nudge his eyes open to insure a response. It simply hands there in the air for K to take if he wanted.   
“Yes.” He tells him.   
Before they can do anything Mija runs over, rambling promises of making friends that only makes Jay grin when translated to him by an already smiling K.   
Jay had never been an impulsive person. K had known him to be, but only in certain circumstances. Only stemming from thought-out and calculated plans that had simply gone wrong. So it eels wrong when Jay kisses him in the garage, and it’s what makes him push him away. Somehow, that aspect is what catches him most. Garage, _really?_ The very concept of Jay being so caught up in whatever his goal was that he’d not even bothered to wait for him to stop washing the car, or to leave the room, or to shower. Instead he’s pressed up against the door of the car for a few moments, and just stands there. He almost snaps at himself for doing so in the same branch of being angry at himself for pushing Jay off at all. Just as soon as he feels the lost of warmth, and sees the look on Jay’s face.   
For a man who’d spent most of his adult life rebelling, he didn’t seem to take rejection well. K has to remind himself that’s not what it was. Never, he was sure, in the time he had known Jay, would that be the case. He tries to reassure that fact to himself as he watches grief strike the other man’s features.   
“사랑해요?”   
A smile actually manages to break across K’s face for a moment when he hears it. Not wrong from what he’d said, technically, but too _Jay._ He nods anyway, hands against the ones Jay’s had placed on his hips. It occurs to him it still reads as negative as Jay’s expression only worsens with fear.   
“사랑해,” He says, hand coming up to touch the other’s jaw. “Relax.”   
When he’s kissed again it’s with the same sort of determination the stupid man doing it to him apparently had to have in everything in his life, and he hates that he enjoys it. The only protest he makes then is to shove Jay when his spine presses up against the car, shoving himself against him again as soon as he could move. For once in either of their lives, they shut up. There isn’t any rambling past the _‘I love you’,_ no large declaration that they’d give about any other topic on any other given day. It’s simple in the way that worked for both of them. Each of their hands found the other one’s and it turned out to be enough for them like that.   
The only time that’s interrupted is when Silver pulls into the garage beside the other car, Mija and Blond in the back playing some game neither man could make out before the mocking hollering began.   
Even with the shock and embarrassment that strikes across Jay’s face, it doesn’t stop K from trying to kiss him again.


End file.
